I dag ville du fylt 75 år, men denne dagen fikk du aldri oppleve. Jeg kan ikke ringe deg og gratulere deg med dagen i dag, slik jeg alltid har gjort på fødselsdagen din de siste årene. Fordi det ikke fins noen telefonlinje inn til “den andre siden”. Men jeg sørger ikke fordi du er død.
Jeg sørger over alt jeg ikke fikk ta del i, sørger over at du ikke var i livet mitt da jeg var lita. Er trist og lei meg for det jeg gikk glipp av, det jeg ikke fikk oppleve. For menneskene jeg ikke fikk møte og ha i livet mitt.
Jeg sørger fordi du kunne valgt annerledes. Fordi jeg ikke opplever at jeg i dine øyne hadde lik verdi. Fordi jeg en siste gang ble konfrontert med at jeg ikke var likestilt, ikke er verdt like mye. Etter din død.
Jeg skal tilgi, for min egen del. Men de tunge tankene blir værende hos meg litt til. De må bearbeides. Etter hvert skal de få slippe taket i meg. Tid kommer ikke tilbake. Tid har vært. Tid er nå, og tid kommer. Jeg vil være takknemlig, jeg er god på det, men jeg kjenner at dette vil ta tid.
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<3
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Huff, Kari… Dette høres skikkelig trist ut. Ønsker deg alt godt, og at du klarer å legge det bak deg etter hvert, men jeg forstår at dette er vanskelig…
Takk for omsorgstankene, Linda ❤ Jeg har vært ute en vinterdag før, men følelsen av å ikke bli verdsatt, er ikke god.
Vakkert skrevet om vonde ting 😥❤
Gode klemmer fra meg 💕
Tusen takk, Heidi ❤ Returklem ❤
I min verden er ikke tilgivelse det samme som å godta en urett. Det er en viljeshandling for å unngå at bitre følelser skal få prege egen tilværelse.
Jeg tror du er på god vei, selv om bearbeidelsen må få den tida som trengs. Mange gode tanker til deg.
Takk for en klok og god kommentar, og for at du setter ord på det som er noen av mine tanker også ❤ Jeg tenker også at tilgivelse handler mye om å gi seg selv muligheten til å gå videre, og det er nok som du sier en viljeshandling for å unngå egne bitre følelser. Jeg glemmer ikke, men jeg kan tilgi, for min egen skyld. Men jeg trenger tid. Tusen takk! ❤
Selv takk, for dine gode ord ❤️.
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Rørende og vakkert skrevet, og til ettertanke for alle sammen ❤❤❤
Ønsker deg en kjempefin fredag, og ei kjempefin og god helg ❤😊
Purr, purr, og klem fra Toril og kattene
❤ Tusen takk, Toril ❤
Sterke og vakre ord.. Tilgi men ikke glemme kan nok være et greit mål, tenker jeg.. sjøl om det kan ta tid å komme dit ❤
❤ Tusen takk ❤ Ja, man må tillate seg selv å tilgi. Men ting setter sine spor, og det lagres i cellene i kroppen til slutt.
Klem til deg, 🥰😘
Tusen takk, og returklem til seg, Bunny ❤
Så rørende og sterke ord ❤️
Den første bursdagen og høytidene er den såreste tiden når man har mistet en foreldre ❤️
❤ Tusen takk ❤ Dette ble på en måte en merkedag.
Føler med deg Kari!
Det var sterkt å lese!
Håper det blir lettere for deg etter hvert. Å glemme blir nok vanskelig, men tilgi for din egen del, så ikke bitterhet vil gjøre livet vanskelig for deg! 🌹🌹❤️❤️
❤ Tusen takk, Astrid ❤ Tankene skal videre, men det må litt bearbeiding til. Man lærer så lenge man lever, og kanskje er det en mening med alt.
Sometimes we do not get what we long for in life or from the presons we expect it from and we feel robbed.
But if another person could not provide it often says more about that person than it does about you!
Accepting this person anyhow, the way he is, gives you a chance to free yourself from grieve, from loss, from not being able to have been yourself.
Your choice was ‘do I make my selfworth depend on what another does or does not do’. Or can I find my selfworth inside myself and be proud of who I am? Don’t take it all so personal.
In the end it was his loss more than it was yours. Bless him and tell him it was okay for him to be like he was and for you to be who you are. Be proud of what you have become! And think of all the experiences and people you did find in your life…which were positive. No one is perfect or they would not live on this planet but be an angel in heaven instead.
We are alll human and accepting that means we can really love someone the way he is. And it means we can accept that we aren’t perfect ourselves but lovable the way we are anyway. Love is only possible without conditions and restrictions…
If not we are trading, exchangings gifts and expecting the same currance back. That has nothing to do with love…
True love comes from a heart, which gives freely and joyful and not needing anything in return…
I will respond to your comment later, Robert ❤
Thank you so much for your well put words, Robert. You are a very wise man, and I appreciate your thoughts and words a lot ❤ I could be cocky and say that I always get what I want in life, but of course I do not. You are very right about the fact that “if another person could not provide it often says more about that person than it does about you!” That’s often a comfort and gives peace in mind. I do like to be in a mental state of calmness. I always accept people for who they are and how they are. That does not mean that I agree that they take the right decisions though. I have my selfworth, and other people’s choices does not change who I am. However, I still feel sad when people close to me do not treat me right and do not think I am worth justice and fairness. Actually, I am proud of what I am and what I have become. My experiences in life are part of me, and everything happens for a reason, for good or for bad, but there’s always a reason. Other people choose who they want to be, and I accept that and respect their way. It’s just the way things are, it’s not up to me to make them do things differently. I may send love to people, but I may choose not to love them for whoever or whatever they are. Maybe in time I will become more like a Buddha and see things they way you do ❤
Dear Kari, if you accept and respect people for who and how they are, it does not matter what decisions they make. Every decision is okay as it does not affect you one bit. You can even love them but decide not to be close to them. but many times we fool ourselves by saying it is okay and yet loath what they do. My point is if you are affected negatively by their actions, it prevents you to love them as they are. That makes you a prisoner as you are submitted to their actions and decisions. You don’t have to become a Buddha, just let to of your expectations and release their power over you and your inner peace. It can be done in an instant, although it can take some time to let go of your disappointment and resentment. But you may not want to submit to the power they hold over you(which may even be subcontional in them or you) and suffering as a result of it. Once you are aware of it, you can let go. It is YOUR choice to let go of it all and be free. And be thankful towards this person he or she made you aware of how it works, afterwards.
Thank you for your wise words and for taking the time to enlighten me. As you know I am an understanding person and I accept and respect people for who and how they are. That does not necessarily mean that I approve of everything. As I’m affected negatively by their decisions I choose to be conscious about my selfworth and let go of things. They have no power over me and that makes me feel free and happy. Furthermore, I will let go of my expectations in order to release their power over me, which is zero anyway. 💖
Klem❤
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Varm klem <3. En er aldri annenrangs, aldri. Men ikke alle har fått tanker/handlinger i like næringsrik jord. Det har du fått.
Tusen takk ❤ Nei, sant det. Det er noe med det, og jeg er trygg på det jeg tenker og kjenner på.